Saturday, July 22, 2023
Feast of Saint Mary Magdalene
(click here to listen to or read today’s scriptures)
Hardness of heart
O God, you are my God whom I seek; for you my flesh pines and my soul thirsts like the earth, parched, lifeless and without water. My soul is thirsting for you, O Lord my God.
My friend sent me this note from Nebraska: “Bad hail storm. Destroyed wheat crop. (I wonder how many people consider that farmers can work hard all year long, and lose it in a moment. How many people would work for a year not knowing whether they would get a paycheck at the end?)”
In Logan County, the Sandel’s home county in Illinois, the drought continues. There was some rain at the beginning of July. On Saturday I will see those fields. I hope to see my brother John, too.
In Austin the temperature is still above 100 degrees every day. Temps in Austin are usually higher these days than at Big Bend National Park and the Chihuahuan Desert, I guess because of all the concrete and asphalt which hold the heat.
Mary Magdalene turned around and saw Jesus there, but she did not know it was Jesus. He said to her, “Mary.” She turned and said to him, “Rabbi!” Then, following the instructions of Jesus, she went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord!”
Farmers on the weather’s edge worry and wonder what will happen next. Perhaps they pray for relief, or they pray for relief from their worry and anxiety, or they pray their daily prayer of praise and thanksgiving. At the dinner table in Lincoln when I was young we prayed “Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest. Let these gifts to us be blessed. Amen.” Jasper has been praying those words now and then. For awhile he seemed pretty proud to have his own prayer. It is a prayer of gratitude and praise. The other day he reminded us to hold hands while we prayed. His 4th birthday comes in ten days, on July 31.
Whoever is in Christ is a new creation: the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come.
For a few days I’ve been running into thoughts about hardening, not of arteries, but of my will and my emotions. It becomes so easy to sidle up to Jesus but not look him in the eyes, and that would be a true statement about everyone else I see, meet or am married to. It’s too easy to pretend like I’m better than I am. One of this week’s Pray As You Go meditations caught up to me:
“Hardness of heart” is that capacity of the human heart not to respond, to switch off, to stick to its guns against its own deepest instincts. Maybe it’s easier to sustain hardness of heart inside us when the whole city is doing the same thing. You wouldn’t want to be the first to crack or to let down your guard. Jesus tells us today just how dangerous it is to find yourself in this predicament, worse than any amount of immorality or irreligiousness.
Well. That’s kind of an everyday predicament. I want to be grateful for the rare moments when I’m called out of my thoughtlessness into having to make a choice to give myself up a little. It’s often a store clerk, or a person on the street corner with a sign like “Anything helps. Even 25 cents.” It might be someone in a parking lot or an apartment neighbor walking their dog. This seems to come naturally at times for kids. I want to be child-like that way too.
He indeed died for all, so that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.
(Genesis 49-50, Psalm 105, 1 Peter 4, Matthew 10)
(posted at www.davesandel.net)
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