The second fire

Monday in the Octave of Easter, April 10, 2023

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The second fire

Peter stood up, raised his voice and proclaimed, “Listen to my words!”

A lot has happened in Peter’s life since he denied his Master three times …

Now the servants and officers had made a charcoal fire, because it was cold, and they were standing and warming themselves. Peter stood with them, standing and warming himself (John 18:18).

Peter had just told Jesus, racing in front of his fiery ego as usual, that he would never abandon Jesus, “even if everyone else did.” But now just hours later, he told three people who looked him in the eye that he did not know the man. It was dawn, and the rooster crowed three times. Jesus passed by and looked straight into Peter’s eyes. Or rather, Simon’s eyes. Because after that night he could no longer be called Peter, no more the Rock on which Jesus said he would build his church. What a joke. Just a haughty wastrel, certain of nothing but his own cowardice.

Then Jesus’ death. Peter’s guilt choked him. A cloak of shame smothered him. He fell to the ground like water carried in your palms when you suddenly choose to spread your hands. Like Humpty Dumpty the Proud and Cocky, Peter tumbled off the wall and couldn’t put himself together again.

Then Jesus’ resurrection, witnessed by Peter. Peter led the disciples however he could. Inside himself, though, his brokenness was untouched even weeks later. He thought, “Well, I might go fishing tonight and possibly fall overboard.” Can I go on living like this? When I turned away from Jesus, he turned away from me. I have no idea how I should live now. I could ask “my God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” But no, I can’t ask that. Because I’ve abandoned him.

Keep me safe, O God, you are my hope.

He didn’t tell his friends. He would fish alone. But his friends knew him, were watching him, his brothers in Christ would not let him go out alone. “We’ll go with you! Let’s try our luck together.” Simon looked at them in meek protest, and they all jumped in the boat. “Let’s try the left side of the boat!”

Remember, Simon? When Jesus first met you?

All that black night these fishermen worked their nets, all night on the left side of the boat, all night they came up empty. Simon felt more alone than ever.

Then at dawn they heard a man calling them across a fire he had built on the beach.

“Children, do you have any fish?” When they shouted NO, the man tending his fire shouted out to them, “Cast your net on the right side of the boat, and you find some.” So they cast it, and now they were unable to haul it in, because of the huge quantity of fish.

Only one other time had Simon caught fish like this. After a long fishless night years ago, an unknown preacher on the sand asked him to try once more. And though irritated, he agreed.

“Master, at your word I will once more let down the nets.” When they had done this the nets filled with fish so much that they were breaking.”

That first time he met Jesus, Simon was afraid. He wanted to run from Jesus. He fell to his knees and cried, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man.” Jesus would have none of it. “Follow me. I will make you a fisher of men.”

So much water under the bridge since then. By now Peter has broken all his promises to Jesus. His failure was not put-back-together-again-able. He was back to, “Depart from me.” He felt frantic. He had to run away.

About Peter and the rest of us, our pastor Matt said in this Easter Sunday sermon, “When you’re in the anteroom you can settle for your self-righteousness. But then when you enter Jesus’ throne room and encounter real righteousness, you are undone.”

John said to Peter, “It is the Lord!”

What will happen now, in Peter’s panic at seeing Jesus – will he break and run away from Jesus in fear, or run toward him and his love?

Peter threw himself into the sea and ran toward Jesus. He saw a charcoal fire in place, with fish laid out on it, and bread.

His senses instantly became alert. He remembered another fire (only twice were these words used in the New Testament, both by John).

Triggered perhaps by those smells, Peter remembered the love of Jesus inside his soul, and in its presence fear faded.

Jesus called him to the fire. Simon, do you love me more than these? Feed my lambs. (I forgive you, and you are free from guilt, my friend.)

Simon, do you really love me? Be my shepherd. (I forgive you, and I remove your shame, my brother.)

O Simon, do you love me? Feed my sheep. (Receive again your measure of courage, but now receive it whole and pure, free from your own ego, standing strong as God’s son, as Jesus’ brother.)

When you are old, another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go. (You will be buried with Christ through baptism into death – Romans 6 – and your death will glorify God.)

Pastor Matt was so excited. He nearly shouted, “Do you see? This is Peter’s resurrection too! And it can be ours. Before Peter could be forgiven, he had to repent. I’d stand in line for three days to have those moments to repent with Jesus.”

I’ll be right behind you!

You will not abandon my soul to the nether world, nor will you suffer your faithful one to undergo corruption. Keep me safe, O God, you are my hope.

(Acts 2, Psalm 16, 118, Matthew 28)  … also Luke 5, John 18 and John 21

(posted at www.davesandel.net)

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