Tuesday, June 4, 2024
(click here to listen to or read today’s scriptures)
All of us are growing up
Beloved: Wait for and hasten the coming of the day of God,
because of which the heavens will be dissolved in flames
and the elements melted by fire.
But according to his promise
we await new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells.
As we said goodbye for the week, and the month, and the summer, I waved at Miles, sitting on the couch saying goodbye without moving, and at Jasper, who got up and suddenly was standing before me. I looked down at him. I ruffled his hair a little, smiled at the air above him, and said I would see him again when he was five! (His fifth birthday is July 31)
I did not kneel down to look into his eyes. I did not hug him, or rub noses, or cheeks with him. Almost immediately upon leaving, I realized this and felt unexpected, perhaps unreasonable anguish, like a wound was opening inside me. So sad! In that instant, I knew inside my deepest place I had lost an irretrievable moment of love and connection, of sharing belonging and hope, mutual respect, generosity and gratitude.
Those are words-too-big for a four year old, but not feelings-too-big. And while I sometimes search my own vocabulary for right words these days at 74, those words are not too big for me.
Therefore, beloved, since you await these things,
be eager to be found without spot or blemish before him, at peace.
And consider the patience of our Lord as salvation.
I love Jasper and I love Miles. They are learning to love me. They learn by watching their parents, and they learn watching all four of their grandparents, now nearby. German storyteller and philosopher Johannes Hartl says “People become I through Thou, as Martin Buber said. Attributing consciousness to other people is therefore just as natural to us humans as experiencing ourselves as conscious beings. We cannot do otherwise.”
But this takes time. It is a gradual thing. And in moments like the farewell between us, I must remember that, kneel down, look into Jasper’s eyes and Miles’ eyes, and say, “I love you.”
We’ll spend this week with Jack and Aly, who are 15 and 12, and we have had years and years to kneel down and say “I love you.” And look into their eyes. And notice their unique spirits and personalities, touch their hands, their shoulders and say again, “I love you.”
Clarence Heller, poet-artist-spiritual director, has grandchildren too. He writes of them, and of the world around them all:
Green
It is the season of green
the woods are thick
life has burst like a paint-filled balloon
even the invasive species are thriving
and as aging pushes in and pushes out I wonder
how green my life remains
yet I know that what is blossoming is wisdom
and wisdom is a more mature color
In all things I am learning to give thanks.
Therefore, beloved, since you are forewarned, be on your guard not to be led into the error of the unprincipled and to fall from your own stability.
But grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ.
To him be glory now and to the day of eternity. Amen.
(2 Peter 3, Psalm 90, Ephesians 1, Mark 12)
(posted at www.davesandel.net)
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