Friday, April 19, 2024
(click here to listen to or read today’s scriptures)
On the road to Damascus
My Flesh is true food, and my Blood is true drink.
And even now on top of this hairy camel for almost two weeks, I can’t believe what I just heard. Jesus said that? He acts like we are cannibals, and he is the victim. His flesh and blood don’t stand a chance of being eaten, even by animals. What do those Christ-ians imagine they are hearing, deep in their silent hiding places, even in Damascus?
Damascus. Isaiah said it would turned into a heap of ruins. So be it. I’m going there to arrest Christ followers. They have no place anywhere in Israel, nor in Syria. I carry letters to all the synagogues: give up your Christ-ians! Let them be carried back in chains to Jerusalem. Let them die. We will purify the land.
Even as I say these things to myself, I feel unfocused and confused, alone. I must keep my mind on my mission. I must pray from my heart, three times yesterday, today, tomorrow. “Hear, O Israel: God is our Lord, the Lord is one. Blessed are you, oh Lord our God, King of the Universe!”
I see the spires of Damascus. My servants and guards are restless. We need to get the camels to water. We all need to rest. And these letters are burning a hole in my pocket.
As Saul neared Damascus, a light from the sky flashed around him, and he fell to the ground.
This is not a dream. I am afraid. I am confused. And I can’t see!
Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?
Who are you, what is this voice? I All of us can hear you. All of us are terrified. But I open my eyes and I see nothing.
I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. Now get up and go into the city. You will be told what to do.
My breathing is shallow, rapid, afraid, out of control. I hear strange, breathless shouts from my servants. The camels race around each other. Hold on, hold on!
They led him by the hand into Damascus, and Saul neither ate nor drank, nor could he see, for three days.
In this dark silence I must be still.
Jesus will not let me go. Jesus said it was he “whom I am persecuting.” I cannot claim to know anything more. Jesus Jesus Jesus. I will be still.
There’s just something about that name.
I know how much the Lord loves me. He gives me time to hear him whispering inside my mind. Not to think, not to consider, evaluate, decide. My thoughts pile up into a hill of straw, ready for the fire.
The Lord is one! Blessed are you, O Lord, our God. Jesus Jesus Jesus! King of the universe.
To Ananias, the angel said, “Go to Saul, and do not be afraid of him. He is a chosen instrument of mine and I will show him what he will suffer in my name.
Who is that at my bedside? I cannot see. He lays hands on me. He prays for me. He tells me what I must do. And I receive everything he says into the center of my soul.
Immediately things like scales fell from his eyes and he regained his sight.
Shadows fill out into faces and bodies and hands and smiles. I feel like I’ve been with these people all my life. I hold out my hands, they help me up. I can see! Everything that was dark and dead and wrong is wrong no longer. Outside the sun rises, blue sky, sounds of the market. Come and see! Come and buy! Will this not be life for me again, no more agony of anger and empty hate? Feed me, O Lord, of your flesh. Let me drink your blood. Only then can I be whole.
He got up and was baptized. When he had eaten he recovered his strength.
Got to get going, you know. No one knows what will happen next, and I don’t care. This way to the rest of my life.
He stayed some days with the disciples in Damascus and began at once to proclaim Jesus in the synagogues, that he is the Son of God.
Those letters in my pocket? They were burning me. But now I’ve burned them!
(posted at www.davesandel.net)
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