Saturday, February 10, 2024
Memorial of Saint Scholastica, Virgin
(click here to listen to or read today’s scriptures)
Let us melt together into eternity
Having now at last completed my living will and medical power of attorney (sans the signatures of witnesses), I can return to writing, and to reading Surrender to Love and Sacred Love, as well as yearning for time to do some of the resistance exercises Nick showed me Wednesday, which I am still determined to do. Sometime soon.
Today’s lectionary summarizes the foolishness and fear of Jeroboam, as he sought to turn the people of his ten tribes of Israel against their traditions and their loyalties to the house of David. The story is fascinating, and horrible, as Jeroboam took into his own hands what rightfully belonged in God’s. Of course that was not initially his intention. He heard complaints about King Solomon’s extravagance, but he worked for the king. Who you gonna call?
Jeroboam thought to himself.
Therein the problem lies for me as well …
David thought to himself.
Over decades I MIGHT be doing less of this. My rule of life requires it: read, write, listen, pray … where is there any mention of thinking to myself? But when my blood sugar spiked I actually noticed how my monkey brain spun crazy, nearly never stopping. I’m quieter today. But even in my relative stillness I immediately remember how God made us (including me) co-creators with himself. How he made us “in his image,” and expected us to take charge of everything around us. That requires lots of thinking to ourselves, right?
But the Bible story continues. Even in the Garden of Eden it became evident that we failed even to take charge of ourselves. We need to be still and know that God is God before trying much of the dominion thing. Instead, when I feel out of control of my own thoughts and emotions, I insist on trying to control everything outside of me instead. This might help superficially sometimes, but soon it leads to my personal chaos and sorrow.
They exchanged their glory for the image of a grass-eating bullock.
What I will always have is God’s patience as I fall apart and fall back into his arms. I think of what I read in Texas Monthly last night, about a very loving man who fell in love with his pet. But then the pet turned on him after several years and nearly killed him when his back was turned. Austin (yes, that’s his name) recovered and continues to love his pets, although perhaps from a bit more distance. God exponentially does this for me, and just as intimately as ever.
Jeroboam did not give up his evil ways after this.
Of course Jeroboam was a king, and kings are given power, and that power corrupts. I am not a king, except of my own domain. Not even that, of course. Lord, let me rest in you and surrender to your love. As does Clarence Heller in the snow:
Sometimes my God is like snow, beautiful and cold.
It can feel wonderful to stand in its embrace,
tongue extended, open and receptive.
Other times I need to stay warm,
inside and separated,
peering out the window,
close enough to yearn, far enough to feel safe.
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Oh God of pure beauty, let yourself live through me,
each and every day,
and when the time is right
let us melt together into eternity.
(1 Kings 12, Psalm 106, Matthew 4, Mark 8)
(posted at www.davesandel.net)
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