Thursday, September 21, 2023
Feast of Saint Matthew, Apostle and evangelist
(click here to listen to or read today’s scriptures)
Matthew alone with God
As Jesus passed by he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s post. Jesus said to Matthew, “Follow me.”
In The Chosen Matthew begins to understand himself from the inside out as Jesus looks him in the eye. When Jesus calls Matthew to his side, the prayers Matthew has prayed for years, alone and without encouragement, come at last to fruit. Of course Matthew does not hesitate. He follows Jesus.
What else was Matthew doing all those years, besides being a Roman servant and Hebrew turncoat? Did his parents disown him, and with them, the rest of the community of his childhood? Matthew turns out to be a very strong, sensitive person, sensitive enough to recognize the authentic call of the Messiah, and strong enough to turn aside from his everyday tax-collecting life (and his Roman employers, with their swords and shields).
Did he expect, at first, the rejection that came those years ago, when he chose tax collecting as his profession? How did he feel, what did he think? Could he find any companions for his Sabbath suppers all those years? Perhaps he joined his fellow tax collectors; who among them would have been accepted in his own society? They made up their own gang of outcasts.
While Matthew was at table in his house, many tax collectors (and sinners) came and sat with Jesus and his disciples.
Jesus didn’t mind, and when the Pharisees raised a stink, Jesus silenced them with an analogy.
Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. Go and learn the meaning of the words, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice.”
I think Matthew could have been the tax collector or publican in Jesus’ story, the one he contrasted with the unctuous Pharisee praying in the temple. Matthew came by his humility honestly. He did not go to many parties, he did not marry, his parents might have turned him out. Matthew’s life was spent within the walls of his customs house, and alone within the walls of his own home. Perhaps he had a dog as friend. In The Chosen Matthew’s dog is his only friend.
I begin to think that Matthew’s prayer life prepared him for his encounter with Jesus. Think, with Henri Nouwen, about this kind of life, a life marked with solitude and silence, filled with prayer – prayers to confess the “sin” of tax collecting, prayers to be reminded of God’s constant presence, prayers of hope:
Solitude and silence can never be separated from the call to unceasing prayer. If solitude were primarily an escape from a busy joy, and silence primarily an escape from a noisy milieu, they could easily become very self-centered forms of asceticism. But solitude and silence are for prayer. The Desert Fathers did not think of solitude as being alone, but as being alone with God. They did not think of silence as not speaking but as listening to God. Solitude and silence are the context within which prayer is practiced.
Is this how God prepared Matthew for the day when he joined Jesus? I don’t believe for a second that Matthew foresaw this moment. And did Jesus? He had enough to do and think about every moment of every day to plan far ahead.
But in the moment of encounter, they both knew.
Day pours out the word to day, and night to night imparts knowledge.
(Ephesians 4, Psalm 19, Matthew 9)
(posted at www.davesandel.net)
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