Saturday, April 29, 2023
Memorial of Saint Catherine of Siena, Virgin and Doctor of the Church
(click here to listen to or read today’s scriptures)
All the love I need, and more, much more where that came from
Jesus asked the disciples if they wanted to leave, but Simon Peter answered, “Master, to whom should we go? You have the words of eternal life.”
I wonder sometimes what I’ll do when one of my own “little deaths” arrives on the doorstep, knocks, and steps in as if he belongs there. Of course I’m afraid, and impatient, and even angry. God doesn’t seem to be anywhere around. Then he IS around, but he jut asks, “Do you want to go find someone else?” His patience is unending. God awaits my decision and does not seek to guide it.
So I am limited, not by God’s power, but by my faith – by my weak, confessed, inadequate attempt at faith. My “assurance of things I do not see” is limited to say the least. Is this assurance at least growing as I watch the years unfold?
Like Margaret, the ladies in Margaret’s Bible Study Fellowship zoom group are older. Looking into their faces for a moment as I pass the computer, I notice patience, and perseverance, and pain. Then I heard one of the women say, “God understands my pain. And I can trust him with what he has not yet resolved.” I felt grateful to hear the woman’s confession of pain and of faith. “What he has not yet resolved.” Her confidence in God allowed her to rest in her unfinished healing. Her face shown bright as she said this to her friends.
I know there is no hurry in this life of mine. No hurry in yours either. God waits without rancor for me, no matter how long. Always in the meantime He is finishing things, for me, for others, for all of us, as we ask him to. “What he has not yet resolved.” But he will. Oh, yes, he will.
The church throughout all Judea, Galilee and Samaria was at peace. She was being built up and walked in the fear of the Lord, and with the consolation of the Holy Spirit.
This passage from Acts 9 is certainly the story of two healings. Aeneas’ patience and Tibitha’s generosity guide them, at the moment of their need, into the hands of God for healing and resurrection. The story also documents Peter’s faith, his confidence that God is present and alive and full of healing.
Aeneas, Jesus Christ heals you. Get up and make your bed.
Tabitha, rise up. She opened her eyes, saw Peter, and sat up.
Clarence Heller’s poem drums on my heart:
Because I have Faith
When my wife got sick
and our lives were turned upside down
and the freedom I had grown so accustomed to was gone,
and when I had to watch her cry
in pain and fear and suffering,
because I have faith, I asked
“Where are you in this situation, God?”
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When I was repulsed by segregation and complacency
and my judging attitude and cynicism
and the exercise of power over the powerless,
and when a sense of confusion and impotence overwhelmed me,
because I have faith, I asked
“Where are you in this situation, God?”
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And then God reminded me that when gazing at the sunset
I don’t ask this question—
not because I don’t have faith,
but because God’s presence is so apparent.
And then I realized that the answer is always the same,
that where God is, is with me, with us,
always, and in all ways.
Always encouraging and inviting us to more.
When witnessing a sunset,
to stop and soak it in,
to receive the healing and wholeness beauty offers.
When facing pain and loss,
to surrender,
to let go and trust that God is suffering with us,
and to know that whatever we are
and whatever we do is enough.
When disturbed by injustice,
to act out of courage and love,
to trust my heart
and to speak what I believe is the truth.
And really, it is only out of moments of pain, anger and beauty that my ability to be loved by God is birthed. Always there is more than enough love, and gradually I believe that and rest.
How shall I make a return to the Lord for all the good he has done for me.
(posted at www.davesandel.net)
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