Monday, January 2, 2023
The Ninth Day of Christmas
Memorial of Saints Basil the Great and Gregory Nazianzen, Bishops and Doctors of the Church
(click here to listen to or read today’s scriptures)
Standing on the promises
If what you heard from the beginning remains in you, then you will remain in the Son and in the Father.
It’s different when I’m sick, and yesterday I was sick. I skipped church and slept, then took some medicine and slept some more, woke up and ate shrimp Margaret made and slept some more. I felt swept along between football games, Christmas stories, bookkeeping, hearing Margaret’s experiences at church without me, and prayer. Prayer for a friend’s brother, for our families in Evansville and Illinois, for the people at church, for …
And this is the promise that he made us: eternal life.
But mostly, there weren’t words. When my body aches and reels from allergies, God’s love doesn’t manifest in words or emotion. Its substance extends beyond how I feel into a certainty that replaces comfort and even confidence; in the midst of discomfort and instability I know God is here, in charge, and I can relax and be his child, for once not getting ahead of Him.
Waves by Clarence Heller
The words “I Love You”
wash over me and through me
and in me
so very gently
this must be of God
rhythmically they come
like breathing
and I cannot distinguish which one of us is speaking
God or me
it’s like we are both speaking through
the same medium of my consciousness
we speak the words to each other in union
and then the words shift to “Thank You”
and gratitude swells yet the gentleness remains
and then we go deeper into silence
becoming so purely gentle there are no words
then after a while “I Love You” returns
I do love You – I do.
It’s like the gentleness of the ocean lives within me.
I welcome You, oh God.
I surrender all to You.
I think this might be a little like drowning, although without the disturbance of being unable to breathe. It is very quiet, but not “quietism,” which takes pride in the quiet. It is still, but not passive. It doesn’t resist action, it walks alongside it and enters upon request.
As the hours passed yesterday, my medicine wore off and my eyes began to dry up again, drawing out lots of tears. I splashed water on my face, took deep breaths as best I could, and waited for another time of sleep. With less energy, I also had less ambition. Reading, writing, experiences all faded in importance. As I closed my eyes to protect them from the mild allergic burn, I shut myself in with God.
As for you, the anointing that you received from him remains in you, so that you do not need anyone to teach you.
I know this isn’t the way I’m meant to live all the time. But it feels right for today.
(1 John 2, Psalm 98, Hebrews 1, John 1)
(posted at www.davesandel.net)
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