What am I pondering
When they hand you over, do not worry about how you are to speak or what you are to say. You will be given at that moment what you are to say. For it will not be you who speak but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.
– From Matthew 10
On the Feast of St. Stephen, remember Mary’s Magnificat, her reflection of God’s desire for family, for neighborly-ness, when the high are brought down and the low, raised up.
See Saul standing straight, silhouetted there on the rim of a western hill, killers’ coats all around his feet. Saul’s harassing, biting words drove the Jews into a frenzy and here they are now, defeated in debate but victorious in their kangaroo court. Watch them rush headlong into this killing field. The men, of course. Always the men.
They find jagged rocks and hurl them like simple snowballs at the head of Stephen. They are protecting something – their families? Their traditions? Their God?
But God does not need their help. Nor mine.
Saul called it blasphemy and treason, but it was not. Stephen’s new power to heal, accompanied by words given to him just when he needed them, brought joyful prayer to the mouths of the people. Their hearts turned soft and were filled with the Holy Spirit. Stephen claimed the presence and the grace of Jesus, who was not dead after all, and Saul screamed, “No!”
Years before, Mary pondered all those things that filled her life and would change the world. Saul, so magisterial on the hill in his self-righteousness, will soon be hurled from his beast on the road to Damascus, brought down into the ancient dust to discover God in the words of Jesus. “Saul! Saul! Why are you persecuting me?” And Saul was blinded by the sight.
When Saul’s sight was restored, he pondered his revelation in the desert for a thousand days.
But Stephen is our hero today.
See Stephen in his cell, candles dead in the darkness, staring in spite of himself into the hate-filled eyes of Saul. But then, this night before his murder, God removes this remembrance from Stephen’s mind.
Stephen prays, Stephen ponders. O Jesus, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. O Jesus, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner! O Jesus! We can watch him pray all night, as we pray too.
What am I pondering? I see myself, and Christmas bells, which along with their holiday had yet to be invented, and invite Stephen across the centuries to sit beside me while we listen.
These bells that play
On Christmas Day
Their ringing settles me
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Deep and wide and wild and sweet
Sounding my soul, listening for
Evidence of Relationship
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Sobs, bursts of song,
Long silences sometimes
For kin we are and kin we will remain
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Can I claim this brotherhood with Stephen? He’s the martyr, not me. He’s today’s hero, not me. He is the one raised up, in God’s good time, from the devil’s dirt and death invoked in rocks and hate.
Stephen calls out his forgiveness, I call out mine. He joins the family brought together by our Father, neighbors all. There is Herod, there is Saul, there is Peter, there is Paul. Here we are, just smell that turkey! We wait together for our Savior, we wait for Jesus to come and bless his holy family at our meal.
I’m alone today, Lord, and calling out your name. O Jesus, son of God, have mercy on me! My backyard birds fly up in flocks to feed, and fly away again, together. As I sit you fill me with remembrance of all those others too, who sit down too, who love you too, because you always first loved them. We’re in this all together.
https://www.davesandel.net/category/advent-and-christmas-devotions-2019/
http://www.christiancounselingservice.com/archive.php?year=2019
