Mighty fine and friendly food for you
Ash Wednesday, March 1, 2017
Jesus said to his disciples, “Take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them … when you give alms, don’t blow a trumpet before you … when you give alms, don’t let your left hand know what your right is doing, so that your almsgiving may be secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.
– From Matthew 6
“Return to me,” God calls out. “Come and let me feed you bread that fills and water that quenches all your thirst.” Living water. The bread of life. Even the birds cry, “Man-na! Man-na!”
Perhaps the birds know better than to brag about their good deeds. But I forget that simple request from Jesus. And then things go wrong.
If I tell my friends and family about my giving, my right hand wants them to admire me and praise me for what I’ve done. Secretly I’m kind of hoping that maybe their deeds won’t quite measure up to mine.
But I’m stuck with junk inside that doesn’t digest. And there’s less and less incentive for me to talk to God. Of course my left hand knows this.
Talking to God humbles me and clean me out. It’s not that God makes something small of my sacrifice, or my shame, but that God gives so much more. With at least some measure of sarcasm I might sing, “All of me, why not take all of me?” but God doesn’t just say it. God does it. God holds nothing back.
Sometimes my father said, “I’m proud of you, son.” But those words were usually about deeds, and my father didn’t know my inner thoughts. God’s pride in me has nothing to do with deeds, or even inner thoughts. So, like David in Psalm 139, I can say to God without hesitation, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows that full well.” How sweet it is to be loved by you.
When I relax into what God made me, I give and pray and fast with no need for recognition. No fear. Between God and any-of-us, gratitude and love are available without end. That’s all we bring to the table. We mix ourselves up when we think there’s more.
As I do my work, Holy Spirit, let me do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. You put bread on my plate and milk in my glass, and life everlasting peeks out over the table, beckoning. Make me a giver, and fill me with prayer, and teach me the joy of fasting in this season and all seasons, forevermore.
