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Remember your own forgiveness
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Third Week of Lent
Matthew 18:21-22, 34
Peter approached Jesus and asked him, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? Jesus answered, “Not seven times but seventy-seven times … Should you not have pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?”
God is so gentle, but he will always remind me that I am not my own boss. He freely gives me my free will, but God is the one who made the world, and who made me from dust. Because of how he made me in his own image, as a Person imbued with respect and gratitude, each heartbeat rings my joy and thanks back to him.
But in my own personal version of the Fall, in the midst of my own Garden of Eden, I think I know better. I am not as strong as I think I am, but I turn away anyway. I put on protective clothes, hide in the woods, and go my own way. It feels good. How can it be wrong when it feels so right?
Then the lions pounce and the cyclones roar, and I am undone. But as I sneak a look back at God, I see that he is “burning with desire,” as Henri Nouwen says, to be with me. His forgiveness of me is utter and complete. I don’t have to beg. Can I just accept? Yes, I can. I think I can.
Then comes another day, and I am offended. Grief happens. I can’t change what’s happened, even if it is unfair, cruel, bullying, evil. I pretend it’s not so bad. I try to change things, but when I can’t I become angry and depressed. About this moment Jesus has something very important to say.
Remember your own forgiveness, David!
This is how my grief curves back upward, slowly, moving into acceptance and forgiveness. Standing in God’s mercy shower, I have nothing to say except, “Thank you.” Looking up at God instead of across at my enemy I see only a gentle rain from heaven, falling on us both.
So are those streaks of water on my face tears or raindrops? Am I feeling sorry for myself? Am I letting God’s mercy fall on me? Am I learning how to be loved, so I can love? Will I forgive as I’ve been forgiven?
Those are good questions for a cloudy day. No hurry with answers, but don’t stop asking the questions.
We are reduced, O Lord, and brought low everywhere in the world this day because of our sins. We have no place to find favor with you. But with contrite heart and humble spirit let us be received. Let our sacrifice be in your presence today. Those who trust in you cannot be put to shame, and now we follow you with our whole heart. Deal with us in your kindness and great mercy. Deliver us by your wonders, O Lord!
http://www.christiancounselingservice.com/archived_devotions.php?article_id=1453
