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Worry … wait … worry … wait
Saturday, December 19, 2015
Third Week of Advent
Judges 13:3,24
An angel of the Lord appeared to Manoah’s wife and said to her, “Though you are barren and have had no children, yet you will conceive and bear a son … The woman bore a son and named him Samson. The boy grew up and the Lord blessed him.
Can I live my life from moment to moment, from day to day, knowing a bit but not much more of what is coming?
Each of us lives simultaneously but with some trepidation in the past, present and future. All at once, all the time. You’d think we would get better at this as we move through our lives. I guess we do. But the past contains a few minefields we avoid, and we worry as much about the future as we simply wait for it.
Manoah’s wife waited for her baby. Women have had to learn to wait for their babies, all the world over since the beginning of time.
Some of us are waiting for the Cubs to win the World Series. More of us are waiting for pitchers and catchers to report (unofficially, February 18 next year).
Lawrence Ferlinghetti wrote a wonderful if sometimes cynical poem: “I am waiting for my case to come up and I am waiting for a rebirth of wonder/ I am waiting for the Salvation Army to take over/ and I am waiting for the meek to be blessed and inherit the earth without taxes … I am waiting to get some intimations of immortality by recollecting my early childhood/ and I am waiting for the green mornings to come again/ and I am waiting for the last long careless rapture/ and I am awaiting perpetually and forever a rebirth of wonder.”
When waiting becomes worrying, I often forget to breathe. But then I remember, and with a great gulp of air suddenly come back to life in the present. Now, how do I move back from becoming sick with worry to healthy waiting?
There are times when it just happens. With God’s touch on my soul, the worrying simply stops. My breathing becomes regular. My back straightens, and I feel confident even if I don’t know what will happen next. Hope comes rising up in me. I surrender that previously unnoticed hubris and settle into my role as God’s son, one of his creations, sweetly saved and savored by his Father.
How does this work for you? I think we can learn from each other, and encourage each other too. I worry less when I share my worries with you. And I hope that’s true for you.
God is good. When two or three are gathered, there he is! Right in the middle of us. Feel his love.
Fill my mouth with praise, Lord, let me sing your glory. You are my hope, and no other. On you I depend from birth. From my mother’s womb you are my strength. Lord, you have taught me from my youth, and you are teaching me today. You are always with me, Praise your presence, Lord. Praise you. (from Psalm 71)
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